Where is Peter Roebuck?

A shocking report to all those people who get their cricket news from the Sydney Morning Herald, Peter Roebuck (considered by many to be the greatest cricket scribe in the game) may not actually be going to the games. First some background, I have been going to the gabba since the days of Kahn and Ambrose and I have never, ever seen an entire section of the ground (around 1000 seats) taken out to create an extra media section, but thats the case for the jump on the band wagon press at the Ashes. So anyways, directly across the ground from where we are sitting is a huge red section of media, so yesterday when old Pup was boring hte living piss out of everyone we decided to go on a mission to find the mighty Roebuck and find out what he thought about proceedings (to find out what he thinks go here http://www.smh.com.au/news/columns/time-to-rub-old-salt-into-new-wounds/2006/11/24/1164341394988.html )

So off we went trekking around the great game, up stairs and down, at one point we found our selves out on the street, but we finally found the way up to hte top teir, so we went out to the game side to view what was happening and get our bearings only to be bailed up by a security guard telling us we weren't corporate enough to stand in that particular section, however after a desperate plea he allowed us to watch a couple of balls, not a lot happened so we continued on with our journey to find Peter. Around we went and finally got to the press section, with a little slight of hand and an invisibility cloak B A Tron slipped past the security and wanded up looking for Roebuck, unfortunatly as he doesn't exist I didn't know what he looked like... so wandering around like a lost little boy I eventually asked a tired out looking hack if he new where Roebuck was, he got a far away look in his eye and stuttered back - he's not here... oh I mean he's down stairs in the other press box. - Sure he was...So with broken hearts we realised we wouldn't get to meet our hero we started abck down the stairs. and RAN STRAIGHT INTO RICHIE BENUARDS, Rich I said, how do you think it going? but apparently his hearing is going cuase he just kept walking even though we were only a few metres apart. Broken we returned to our seats and thankfully Pup got out so things got more exciting.

In other stories- McGrath= legend, Fanatacis= glassed, B A Tron hitting 30 beers in one day= never been seen before, Rosco = had a chardy at the Wickham, Kloss and FUC have both chucked.

You'd have thought someone had died this morning at the Gabba. Ponts is 7 away from 150, Mr cricket is well on his way to a ton, but there is still somewhat of a sober feeling. The stack-a-thon boys are 'chewing' their ways through their beers with the LoveTrain still rolling strong with the A team firmly attached to their coat tails. Even with a brand new player this morning Team Notmuchofachance really are living up to their names. As i write this Harmison has been bought on from the stanley st end and again bowlled a wide for his first delivery. Its a long day but the excitment is building

The Post we forgot to do last night

So its early, damm early, the sun might not even be up, I am to scared to look outside to see. I am worried that the three asprin I have disolving next to me may make to much noise that they wake up young Tommy K who is sleeping near by. The look on his face speaks of a certain satisfaction with himself which I can only imagine means he is dreaming of things to come at the big game today.

So what a day, bad bowling, great batting, a lot of drinking and a romance? I thought I would take this brief peaceful moment before anyone else wakes up to give you a view from the top account of how things went down yesterday. Thousands and thousands of people packed the cbd yesterday morning, they were all going to work, so we felt slightly bad as we rolled down Adelaide in our uniforms. The biggest problem was as we went past riverside and then the government buildings I had to go a little incognito as I know a lot of people down there. Luckily not many people know me as B A Tron in those areas. So we arrived in wollongabba at around 8:45, and managed to get into the ground by 9:15 so don't believe the media beat up, the lines weren't that bad. We did star in one photographers photo's, and the report is we were on channel 7's news coverage. Finally we got in an hour early and were a little disapointed to find that not only were our seats in the middle of a row, they got 0 sun at all. but then we remembered we were there so we relaxed and got down to drinking, and didn't we. K diggity immediatly noticed we were in the shade so changed gears and went out hard and fast, before the first ball he was into his 5th. And then hte first ball, we still cant believe it. The Anthems displayed that there really were a lot more Aussie's in the ground then "Barmy mother fucking Army".Team Love Train Superior were too good for the opposition in the first session Kloss being the first wearer of the yellow with 12 and B A Tron following closely on 11.

The first session was characterised by Langer getting edges thru a slips cordon that Flintoff seemed to not want to fill with bodies - advantage Australia. The A team was a little rocky at the end of session one as Dav Rossi was worried that FUC was tanking big time. But immediatly after lunch in the first sprint session that was reversed with FUC winning the hour with 6 beers (tgo took 4 points and tunny took 2) Fuc's teammate only managed 2 beers in the hour to totally change things up. The first sprint introduced two new aspects to the comp, first a visit from Stephen Holepunch Humpries showed that B A Tron and Rhys have the most friends everywhere, and second the Ayatollah started a new policy of disapearing for short periods of time...By tea many were looking a little shocked by the performances, TGO was nearing 20 and people were starting to wispear about 30 - could it be done... No as it turns out, by the second sprint things were getting tough. First, B A Tron made a reporting mistake and was denied the Yellow Jersey for another session, and second the Ayatollah really went missing. Once again FUC won the sprint with TGO a close second, Kloss came out of the ground to surprise with a thrid place.

The rest of the day was a little shady, despite reports we did see Ponting's hundred, although it came as a bit of a surprise... so at the end of the day B A Tron finally pulled on yellow with a shocking 24, k diggity and Fuc were both close behind with 20, and old didn't feature in anything on the first day Dav Ross an embarrasing 18. In the sprints Fuc was commanding with 12, B A Tron was hitting above his weight (and theres a lot of it) with 8 and the Tollah and Kloss both had 2 each. We headed back to base and decided a swimming race was the only way to go. Finally Rosco got out of first gear and handed a shock defeat to B A Tron, finally squaring the ledger asa B A Tron has had the upper hand for a long time. During the swim Kloss joined the Tollah in the missing stakes, and Sir Rhyso had a rather embarrasing sleep. Still B A Tron, Dav Ross and Sub kept on with the drinking throughout the swim and then a suana. things get a little shady after that, we went out, the stamps on my hand suggest the RG, the Elephant and Wheelbarrow, and perhaps a gentlemens club...

The night sprint was a lottery as Dav Rossi lead out Fuc hard early, but then thanks Jager Bombs team Love Domination stormed back into the points only to be surprised by the sleeper Sub who won with 8 drinks. so after the final sprint we had Fuc on 12, TGO on 10, Sub (jimi) on 6 Kloss on 6, the Tollah on 2 and Rosco on 0.So we head into a new day with new challanges ahead. A huge shout out to Jimi Hendrix who did a great job subbing in for Tim the Mac, anyone would think he was only their for one day the way he actually watched all the play that happened. No one will be hitting 24 today, there will be some sick boys in the team, the Tollah may not even show, so Duggin keep your phone near by. As for the romance... well I've now remembered that it was a gentlemans club, our eyes met and we had a genuine moment accross the smokey, dimley lit room. But as i think about it, the moment may just because she was eyeing the $50.00 I had in my hand.

Keep on Swinging. Today may be a slow morning, but look for the boys to fire up and hit the black-jack tables tonight

All things are fine in the world, Langer 68 (Haydos crap) and Punter 11 and looking good. The gabba-stack-a-thon competitors are sitting gobsmacked as the Kloss has lead them out from start in a spectacular display of drinking ability. A lot of money has been switched in end of day yellow jersey betting with the Kloss shortening in on the Bear who is only 2 behind. There is still a long time between now and 50 but Team LoveTrain has shown their hand and come to play

60 minutes, 57 runs, 42 beers, 6 mates, one hell of a day

The atmosphere is electric, the only runs have been 'tonked' (as the gabba scoreboard tells us) for four as the aussie ledgends tear apart the opening pom attack. It is all a bit even in the Stack-a-Thon with The Kloss leading out while conditions are good. The cricket is so good the fucking fanatics (FF) are cheering the shots and not just blindly chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie ..........

The Before Shot!!