A shocking report to all those people who get their cricket news from the Sydney Morning Herald, Peter Roebuck (considered by many to be the greatest cricket scribe in the game) may not actually be going to the games. First some background, I have been going to the gabba since the days of Kahn and Ambrose and I have never, ever seen an entire section of the ground (around 1000 seats) taken out to create an extra media section, but thats the case for the jump on the band wagon press at the Ashes. So anyways, directly across the ground from where we are sitting is a huge red section of media, so yesterday when old Pup was boring hte living piss out of everyone we decided to go on a mission to find the mighty Roebuck and find out what he thought about proceedings (to find out what he thinks go here http://www.smh.com.au/news/columns/time-to-rub-old-salt-into-new-wounds/2006/11/24/1164341394988.html )
So off we went trekking around the great game, up stairs and down, at one point we found our selves out on the street, but we finally found the way up to hte top teir, so we went out to the game side to view what was happening and get our bearings only to be bailed up by a security guard telling us we weren't corporate enough to stand in that particular section, however after a desperate plea he allowed us to watch a couple of balls, not a lot happened so we continued on with our journey to find Peter. Around we went and finally got to the press section, with a little slight of hand and an invisibility cloak B A Tron slipped past the security and wanded up looking for Roebuck, unfortunatly as he doesn't exist I didn't know what he looked like... so wandering around like a lost little boy I eventually asked a tired out looking hack if he new where Roebuck was, he got a far away look in his eye and stuttered back - he's not here... oh I mean he's down stairs in the other press box. - Sure he was...So with broken hearts we realised we wouldn't get to meet our hero we started abck down the stairs. and RAN STRAIGHT INTO RICHIE BENUARDS, Rich I said, how do you think it going? but apparently his hearing is going cuase he just kept walking even though we were only a few metres apart. Broken we returned to our seats and thankfully Pup got out so things got more exciting.
In other stories- McGrath= legend, Fanatacis= glassed, B A Tron hitting 30 beers in one day= never been seen before, Rosco = had a chardy at the Wickham, Kloss and FUC have both chucked.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
You'd have thought someone had died this morning at the Gabba. Ponts is 7 away from 150, Mr cricket is well on his way to a ton, but there is still somewhat of a sober feeling. The stack-a-thon boys are 'chewing' their ways through their beers with the LoveTrain still rolling strong with the A team firmly attached to their coat tails. Even with a brand new player this morning Team Notmuchofachance really are living up to their names. As i write this Harmison has been bought on from the stanley st end and again bowlled a wide for his first delivery. Its a long day but the excitment is building
The Post we forgot to do last night
So its early, damm early, the sun might not even be up, I am to scared to look outside to see. I am worried that the three asprin I have disolving next to me may make to much noise that they wake up young Tommy K who is sleeping near by. The look on his face speaks of a certain satisfaction with himself which I can only imagine means he is dreaming of things to come at the big game today.
So what a day, bad bowling, great batting, a lot of drinking and a romance? I thought I would take this brief peaceful moment before anyone else wakes up to give you a view from the top account of how things went down yesterday. Thousands and thousands of people packed the cbd yesterday morning, they were all going to work, so we felt slightly bad as we rolled down Adelaide in our uniforms. The biggest problem was as we went past riverside and then the government buildings I had to go a little incognito as I know a lot of people down there. Luckily not many people know me as B A Tron in those areas. So we arrived in wollongabba at around 8:45, and managed to get into the ground by 9:15 so don't believe the media beat up, the lines weren't that bad. We did star in one photographers photo's, and the report is we were on channel 7's news coverage. Finally we got in an hour early and were a little disapointed to find that not only were our seats in the middle of a row, they got 0 sun at all. but then we remembered we were there so we relaxed and got down to drinking, and didn't we. K diggity 
immediatly noticed we were in the shade so changed gears and went out hard and fast, before the first ball he was into his 5th. And then hte first ball, we still cant believe it. The Anthems displayed that there really were a lot more Aussie's in the ground then "Barmy mother fucking Army".Team Love Train Superior were too good for the opposition in the first session Kloss being the first wearer of the yellow with 12 and B A Tron following closely on 11.
immediatly noticed we were in the shade so changed gears and went out hard and fast, before the first ball he was into his 5th. And then hte first ball, we still cant believe it. The Anthems displayed that there really were a lot more Aussie's in the ground then "Barmy mother fucking Army".Team Love Train Superior were too good for the opposition in the first session Kloss being the first wearer of the yellow with 12 and B A Tron following closely on 11. The first session was characterised by Langer getting edges thru a slips cordon that Flintoff seemed to not want to fill with bodies - advantage Australia. The A team was a little rocky at the end of session one as Dav Rossi was worried that FUC was tanking big time. But immediatly after lunch in the first sprint session that was reversed with FUC winning the hour with 6 beers (tgo took 4 points and tunny took 2) Fuc's teammate only managed 2 beers in the hour to totally change things up. The first sprint introduced two new aspects to the comp, first a visit from Stephen Holepunch Humpries showed that B A Tron and Rhys have the most friends everywhere, and second the Ayatollah started a new policy of disapearing for short periods of time...By tea many were looking a little shocked by the performances, TGO was nearing 20 and people were starting to wispear about 30 - could it be done... No as it turns out, by the second sprint things were getting tough. First, B A Tron made a reporting mistake and was denied the Yellow Jersey for another session, and second the Ayatollah really went missing. Once again FUC won the sprint with TGO a close second, Kloss came out of the ground to surprise with a thrid place.
The rest of the day was a little shady, despite reports we did see Ponting's hundred, although it came as a bit of a surprise... so at the end of the day B A Tron finally pulled on yellow with a shocking 24, k diggity and Fuc were both close behind with 20, and old didn't feature in anything on the first day Dav Ross an embarrasing 18. In the sprints Fuc was commanding with 12, B A Tron was hitting above his weight (and theres a lot of it) with 8 and the Tollah and Kloss both had 2 each. We headed back to base and decided a swimming race was the only way to go. Finally Rosco got out of first gear and handed a shock defeat to B A Tron, finally squaring the ledger asa B A Tron has had the upper hand for a long time. During the swim Kloss joined the Tollah in the missing stakes, and Sir Rhyso had a rather embarrasing sleep. Still B A Tron, Dav Ross and Sub kept on with the drinking throughout the swim and then a suana. things get a little shady after that, we went out, the stamps on my hand suggest the RG, the Elephant and Wheelbarrow, and perhaps a gentlemens club...
The night sprint was a lottery as Dav Rossi lead out Fuc hard early, but then thanks Jager Bombs team Love Domination stormed back into the points only to be surprised by the sleeper Sub who won with 8 drinks. so after the final sprint we had Fuc on 12, TGO on 10, Sub (jimi) on 6 Kloss on 6, the Tollah on 2 and Rosco on 0.So we head into a new day with new challanges ahead. A huge shout out to Jimi Hendrix who did a great job subbing in for Tim the Mac, anyone would think he was only their for one day the way he actually watched all the play that happened. No one will be hitting 24 today, there will be some sick boys in the team, the Tollah may not even show, so Duggin keep your phone near by. As for the romance... well I've now remembered that it was a gentlemans club, our eyes met and we had a genuine moment accross the smokey, dimley lit room. But as i think about it, the moment may just because she was eyeing the $50.00 I had in my hand.
Keep on Swinging. Today may be a slow morning, but look for the boys to fire up and hit the black-jack tables tonight
Thursday, November 23, 2006
All things are fine in the world, Langer 68 (Haydos crap) and Punter 11 and looking good. The gabba-stack-a-thon competitors are sitting gobsmacked as the Kloss has lead them out from start in a spectacular display of drinking ability. A lot of money has been switched in end of day yellow jersey betting with the Kloss shortening in on the Bear who is only 2 behind. There is still a long time between now and 50 but Team LoveTrain has shown their hand and come to play
The atmosphere is electric, the only runs have been 'tonked' (as the gabba scoreboard tells us) for four as the aussie ledgends tear apart the opening pom attack. It is all a bit even in the Stack-a-Thon with The Kloss leading out while conditions are good. The cricket is so good the fucking fanatics (FF) are cheering the shots and not just blindly chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie ..........
Don’t count out the Old Dog
The Gabba-stack-a-thon is officially “ON’. Competitors met last night for the prologue stage at the Pig ‘n Whistle riverside, which turned out to be deep in enemy territory. Barmy Army on the left, Barmy Army on the Right, six men honest and true stood up and produced a stella rendition of Waltzing Matilda only to have it drowned out, not by the booming sounds of the English supporters but by a ‘Barmy Army’ Favourites CD – Techno version.
Not to be deterred the competitors focussed on the job at hand and went about completing the required 2 pints. With some early jostling for position it became obvious that there were only two contenders. FUC and the Kloss easily got through their first pint basically at the same time to have a fresh one placed in hand immediately. FUC then broke away and everyone thought that the race was over but his vanity became is ultimate undoing. Pausing with a mouthful to the finish FUC left the gate ajar just enough for the Kloss Dog to come storming home as FUC was distracted by the Johnny Walker girls.
A deserving Victor, Kloss was heard later saying that he felt good during the entire stage and he was looking forward to getting out into the teams event. He also noted that there are a few times in a person’s life when they look into the abyss of a challenge and the response they get back is “Yes, today is your Day”. (kloss glassed)
With the first ball now just hours away, competitors will all meet this morning at the Shangrila for a Jersey Presentation, Official Photo and a hearty breakfast.
Not to be deterred the competitors focussed on the job at hand and went about completing the required 2 pints. With some early jostling for position it became obvious that there were only two contenders. FUC and the Kloss easily got through their first pint basically at the same time to have a fresh one placed in hand immediately. FUC then broke away and everyone thought that the race was over but his vanity became is ultimate undoing. Pausing with a mouthful to the finish FUC left the gate ajar just enough for the Kloss Dog to come storming home as FUC was distracted by the Johnny Walker girls.
A deserving Victor, Kloss was heard later saying that he felt good during the entire stage and he was looking forward to getting out into the teams event. He also noted that there are a few times in a person’s life when they look into the abyss of a challenge and the response they get back is “Yes, today is your Day”. (kloss glassed)
With the first ball now just hours away, competitors will all meet this morning at the Shangrila for a Jersey Presentation, Official Photo and a hearty breakfast.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Tell ‘Em They’re Dreaming
A guest post from jLo, Ficklish (www.ficklish.blogspot.com )(I am too drunk to work out the code)
I can only assume that I was asked to write this because, as a veteran of many First Day Stacks myself, I have a unique appreciation of the specific challenges involved. Of course, I always regarded The Stack as an art form – an homage, if you will – to be approached with humility and reverence rather than as a shameless, desperate vehicle for short lived, empty glory.
(Sigh). I don’t know. Kids today – they’ve got no respect.
Having said this, I have studied the analysis on these pages carefully and will be following the progress of these brave fellows with interest. I haven’t been there for the so-called ‘warm-up’ events, however I don’t regard this as a problem in terms of offering thoughts on their prospects. The Gabba Stack-A-Thon is a bit like the Melbourne Cup, in my opinion, in that past form means little in an event of this calibre. Many are called, few are chosen, and the darkest horse might just be worth a shot.
I do know the competitors. Some of them I’ve known their whole lives, others since the days they were throwing West Coast Wine Coolers down their teenage throats in a dodgy Ormiston car park. I’ve seen all of these gentlemen in action, and it’s safe to say I’m never been particularly impressed.
What I propose to do is to offer you a thought or two on each of the combatants, giving you a unique insight into their potential weaknesses and judging them according to their worth, rather than their ability.
Team LoveTrain
Captain Kloss
I find it very intriguing that glossary of this website specifically refers to a particularly significant event in both Gabba history and Lovell family lore: the day Dean Jones scored 145 on the hallowed turf. It may interest readers to know that we were all there on that memorable occasion, and Kloss slept right through it. It is his secret shame. Deep down inside, Kloss is still trying to atone for his sins against the Gabba. Guilt can be a powerful motivator, but in this case I suspect the stain will be too hard to scrub away.
Bill-A-Tron
Like the Captain, young Billatron has a lot at stake in this competition. The significance of this being his official Last Hurrah before he departs for foreign lands cannot be underestimated. I fear that, despite his form, he will try too damn hard to make this the performance of his life, rather than just letting his natural ability and excellent conditioning do the work. The choke is a real risk here. It might just be too much for him.
The ‘A’ Team
Loses points right off the bat for the name. Seriously, you guys. Glassed.
Dav Ross
Or, “Sir Pelican”, as he is known to some, namely me. His primary weakness, as far as I have been able to observe, is an apparently insurmountable vulnerability to high-quality sass. I once observed this fatal flaw during a particularly cut-throat Trivial Pursuit tournament: it was pitiful and not a little tragic to watch him disintegrate into meltdown as the mockery and piss-taking reached critical levels. I can only hope that he has worked on this aspect of his game, otherwise god help him when the Love train rolls in.
Sir Rhyso
Here’s the thing about Rhys: He is a steady and reliable performer who gets the job done. He may be a FUC, but he rarely pikes and gets karma points from me because he is the only one of the whole stinking bunch who bothered to visit me when I lived in Our Nation’s Capital. Good on you, Sir Rhyso. The force will be with you, always. The only weakness I can identify is that the Gabba sun may wreak havoc upon his sensitive alabaster skin.
Team NotmuchofaChance
The Ayatollah
I don’t know about you lot, but I have always been under the impression that Ayatollahs don’t drink. It certainly looks like he’s having some sort of crisis of faith in his official team photograph, in which case let me caution the punters on the basis that such emotional and spiritual instability may be a serious liability. Further, I have observed that Mr Tunn cannot resist wading into arguments he has no chance of winning, and the other teams will be well advised to employ this tool to throw the Ayatollah off his game. A risky bet, in my opinion but one I've taken in the past. (He pashes like a dream)
The Substitutes
They’re in Team NotmuchofaChance. Enough said.
That’s all I’ve got for now, kids. I’ll offer comments on the progress reports as they roll in. The only prediction I can make with complete confidence is that cricket (and beer) will be the winner on the day. And that’s just as it should be.
I can only assume that I was asked to write this because, as a veteran of many First Day Stacks myself, I have a unique appreciation of the specific challenges involved. Of course, I always regarded The Stack as an art form – an homage, if you will – to be approached with humility and reverence rather than as a shameless, desperate vehicle for short lived, empty glory.
(Sigh). I don’t know. Kids today – they’ve got no respect.
Having said this, I have studied the analysis on these pages carefully and will be following the progress of these brave fellows with interest. I haven’t been there for the so-called ‘warm-up’ events, however I don’t regard this as a problem in terms of offering thoughts on their prospects. The Gabba Stack-A-Thon is a bit like the Melbourne Cup, in my opinion, in that past form means little in an event of this calibre. Many are called, few are chosen, and the darkest horse might just be worth a shot.
I do know the competitors. Some of them I’ve known their whole lives, others since the days they were throwing West Coast Wine Coolers down their teenage throats in a dodgy Ormiston car park. I’ve seen all of these gentlemen in action, and it’s safe to say I’m never been particularly impressed.
What I propose to do is to offer you a thought or two on each of the combatants, giving you a unique insight into their potential weaknesses and judging them according to their worth, rather than their ability.
Team LoveTrain
Captain Kloss
I find it very intriguing that glossary of this website specifically refers to a particularly significant event in both Gabba history and Lovell family lore: the day Dean Jones scored 145 on the hallowed turf. It may interest readers to know that we were all there on that memorable occasion, and Kloss slept right through it. It is his secret shame. Deep down inside, Kloss is still trying to atone for his sins against the Gabba. Guilt can be a powerful motivator, but in this case I suspect the stain will be too hard to scrub away.
Bill-A-Tron
Like the Captain, young Billatron has a lot at stake in this competition. The significance of this being his official Last Hurrah before he departs for foreign lands cannot be underestimated. I fear that, despite his form, he will try too damn hard to make this the performance of his life, rather than just letting his natural ability and excellent conditioning do the work. The choke is a real risk here. It might just be too much for him.
The ‘A’ Team
Loses points right off the bat for the name. Seriously, you guys. Glassed.
Dav Ross
Or, “Sir Pelican”, as he is known to some, namely me. His primary weakness, as far as I have been able to observe, is an apparently insurmountable vulnerability to high-quality sass. I once observed this fatal flaw during a particularly cut-throat Trivial Pursuit tournament: it was pitiful and not a little tragic to watch him disintegrate into meltdown as the mockery and piss-taking reached critical levels. I can only hope that he has worked on this aspect of his game, otherwise god help him when the Love train rolls in.
Sir Rhyso
Here’s the thing about Rhys: He is a steady and reliable performer who gets the job done. He may be a FUC, but he rarely pikes and gets karma points from me because he is the only one of the whole stinking bunch who bothered to visit me when I lived in Our Nation’s Capital. Good on you, Sir Rhyso. The force will be with you, always. The only weakness I can identify is that the Gabba sun may wreak havoc upon his sensitive alabaster skin.
Team NotmuchofaChance
The Ayatollah
I don’t know about you lot, but I have always been under the impression that Ayatollahs don’t drink. It certainly looks like he’s having some sort of crisis of faith in his official team photograph, in which case let me caution the punters on the basis that such emotional and spiritual instability may be a serious liability. Further, I have observed that Mr Tunn cannot resist wading into arguments he has no chance of winning, and the other teams will be well advised to employ this tool to throw the Ayatollah off his game. A risky bet, in my opinion but one I've taken in the past. (He pashes like a dream)
The Substitutes
They’re in Team NotmuchofaChance. Enough said.
That’s all I’ve got for now, kids. I’ll offer comments on the progress reports as they roll in. The only prediction I can make with complete confidence is that cricket (and beer) will be the winner on the day. And that’s just as it should be.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Team NotmuchofaChance
The Ayatollah (Mick Tunny)
The unknown international. The ICC has moved to the UAE so perhaps Arabs can contend in a drinking competition, who really knows? The ayatollah has had an up and down year. He surprised many with his performance on Australia day, racing through a bottle of gin before the hottest 100 had really even got going, but long before the JJJ’s announced number 1 he had sensational crashed out after going to hard to early. His form at New Ballymore was questionable also, a few big performances (notably the South Africa test match) but also a number of poor performances.
Recently though his form has been strong, a solid gallop last Tuesday was backed up strongly on Sunday when he clearly out pointed the Kloss Dogg, perhaps this sand monkey is ideally suited to the hot conditions. He certainly has been talking up his own chances in both the green and yellow competitions, and AT M is hard to leave out of both. If he can show up to three days of competition, and back up all the Bull Shit he has been spinning, the Ayatollah could lead the randoms of Team Rookie to a massive upset. But it will be a surprise.
The Substitutes
There are a lot of unknowns when it comes to the Daily Subs for Team NotmuchofaChance. The first potential sub has for a long time been training in Canada with a great focus on ‘Sprint’ hard night sessions that would lead him to a situation where choking women was the thing to be doing. The J-Train has a great chance to completely undermine the 2 Cup sub penalty with what is sure to be a maniac approach to the competition
Sub 2, again has the potential to drink with the best of the best but questions will always be raised about his focus. Very well known for competing at the top level from the start but then his attention wavers and he loses interest. Also his true ability will always be flawed because if there is even the scent of a member of the fairer sex in the vicinity Sub 2 will just waffle on about ‘Stars’ for about half an hour and then verbally attack the women for absolutely no reason. Every Chance in the world and could be the key to Team NotmuchofaChance’s coming into the final day still with the leaders in sight. But every other team knows his weakness and I am sure an RJ call will put him straight out of the comp.
Sub 3 also has a bit of a maniac approach to ‘Big Days’. JetSeting around the world training in different conditions, different time zones and from all reports performing quite well. Again a threat to make the 2 Cup penalty a distant memory for Team NotmuchofaChance but in all realism, he probably has to fly to the south of France the next morning and we all hope that there is some sort of consideration of that as he partakes in the Gabba-Stack-a-Thon.
Sub 4 – T-to-the-MAC. The original member of Team NotmuchofaChance who unfortunately had to pull out due to injury (MSM reported that it was a work related injury but rumours have been floating around that it was a heart problem.) Still committed to the team enough to come in on the Saturday to anchor the run home but based on his past form, Team NotmuchofaChance had better be fairly close to the pack for him to make a difference.
So that’s the form, some contenders appear to be in fine fettle for the big dance, whilst some old favourites need to decide if they are going to contend or pretend on Thursda. As with any year three gruelling days in the sun will throw up many surprises, but we all know who the safe money will be on.
The unknown international. The ICC has moved to the UAE so perhaps Arabs can contend in a drinking competition, who really knows? The ayatollah has had an up and down year. He surprised many with his performance on Australia day, racing through a bottle of gin before the hottest 100 had really even got going, but long before the JJJ’s announced number 1 he had sensational crashed out after going to hard to early. His form at New Ballymore was questionable also, a few big performances (notably the South Africa test match) but also a number of poor performances.
Recently though his form has been strong, a solid gallop last Tuesday was backed up strongly on Sunday when he clearly out pointed the Kloss Dogg, perhaps this sand monkey is ideally suited to the hot conditions. He certainly has been talking up his own chances in both the green and yellow competitions, and AT M is hard to leave out of both. If he can show up to three days of competition, and back up all the Bull Shit he has been spinning, the Ayatollah could lead the randoms of Team Rookie to a massive upset. But it will be a surprise.
The Substitutes
There are a lot of unknowns when it comes to the Daily Subs for Team NotmuchofaChance. The first potential sub has for a long time been training in Canada with a great focus on ‘Sprint’ hard night sessions that would lead him to a situation where choking women was the thing to be doing. The J-Train has a great chance to completely undermine the 2 Cup sub penalty with what is sure to be a maniac approach to the competition
Sub 2, again has the potential to drink with the best of the best but questions will always be raised about his focus. Very well known for competing at the top level from the start but then his attention wavers and he loses interest. Also his true ability will always be flawed because if there is even the scent of a member of the fairer sex in the vicinity Sub 2 will just waffle on about ‘Stars’ for about half an hour and then verbally attack the women for absolutely no reason. Every Chance in the world and could be the key to Team NotmuchofaChance’s coming into the final day still with the leaders in sight. But every other team knows his weakness and I am sure an RJ call will put him straight out of the comp.
Sub 3 also has a bit of a maniac approach to ‘Big Days’. JetSeting around the world training in different conditions, different time zones and from all reports performing quite well. Again a threat to make the 2 Cup penalty a distant memory for Team NotmuchofaChance but in all realism, he probably has to fly to the south of France the next morning and we all hope that there is some sort of consideration of that as he partakes in the Gabba-Stack-a-Thon.
Sub 4 – T-to-the-MAC. The original member of Team NotmuchofaChance who unfortunately had to pull out due to injury (MSM reported that it was a work related injury but rumours have been floating around that it was a heart problem.) Still committed to the team enough to come in on the Saturday to anchor the run home but based on his past form, Team NotmuchofaChance had better be fairly close to the pack for him to make a difference.
So that’s the form, some contenders appear to be in fine fettle for the big dance, whilst some old favourites need to decide if they are going to contend or pretend on Thursda. As with any year three gruelling days in the sun will throw up many surprises, but we all know who the safe money will be on.
Friday, November 17, 2006
The 'A' Team (they came up with the name)
Dav Ross (Martin Ross)
A much talked about contender for the Gabba Stack-A-Thon, but really no one can work out why. A young contender who is a master of managing his own press Dav Ross has been in the second line of betting for much of this preparation but the facts and figures simply do not back it up. Going back a year to the ICC Super Stack-A-Thon many overlooked the fact that Rosco couldn’t run the distance, he missed the start and never really looked like winning. Few know this but he was heard to query after the first over he saw “why are they changing ends?”
Over a long preparation in 06 he has disappointed more times then he has impressed. The most notable performance of his year was the unbelievable Bakers Dozen at New Ballymore, but really, did anyone include Miss Finland in their cup bets? His late form this preparation is questionable, he stunned many by staying with TGO and fraternizing with the locals at 299, but then took the ridiculous approach of having a spell for two weeks. Since then he has struggled in all facets, reportedly being sent to bed on Sunday night in shame.
If Dav Rossi figures in the finish at the big game it will be against the ratings. He is untested over a full three days, untested at the gabba, untested at the Ashes, untested in the Sauna, untested in the Brisbane heat, questions remain. Questions have also been asked about whether or not he will have to run off to Temple as dusk approaches on the Friday night to recognise Shabbat.
A much talked about contender for the Gabba Stack-A-Thon, but really no one can work out why. A young contender who is a master of managing his own press Dav Ross has been in the second line of betting for much of this preparation but the facts and figures simply do not back it up. Going back a year to the ICC Super Stack-A-Thon many overlooked the fact that Rosco couldn’t run the distance, he missed the start and never really looked like winning. Few know this but he was heard to query after the first over he saw “why are they changing ends?”
Over a long preparation in 06 he has disappointed more times then he has impressed. The most notable performance of his year was the unbelievable Bakers Dozen at New Ballymore, but really, did anyone include Miss Finland in their cup bets? His late form this preparation is questionable, he stunned many by staying with TGO and fraternizing with the locals at 299, but then took the ridiculous approach of having a spell for two weeks. Since then he has struggled in all facets, reportedly being sent to bed on Sunday night in shame.
If Dav Rossi figures in the finish at the big game it will be against the ratings. He is untested over a full three days, untested at the gabba, untested at the Ashes, untested in the Sauna, untested in the Brisbane heat, questions remain. Questions have also been asked about whether or not he will have to run off to Temple as dusk approaches on the Friday night to recognise Shabbat.
Sir Rhyso. (Rhys Liddle)
A solid Gabba performer FUC has shortened in recent weeks as other contenders have fallen by the wayside. He has had a strong year on the southern way of racing, showing up the pretenders from the north on the second day of the two day Armidale Cup with a 3 am performance that had many surprised (NOTE: don’t read too much into this victory over TGO as the great man was distracted by a young vixen (could have been ‘The One’) that weekend (some suspect FUC interference)). He carried his southern form into a strong showing at NFC Straddie 2006, and is reportedly still going well. This kid is a proven performer, but there are some questions.
First he is coming of a long cold winter, into the Brisbane heat- it will be a factor for him (It snowed in Armidale yesterday and FUC was reported to be ‘over the moon’). Second he is coming of the pressure of ‘exams’ has he had too much stress to deal with to be able to concentrate on his drinking form? And finally, how will he go with the auditors from Arthur Anderson looking over his shoulder, we all know the struggles that Mick Tunny and young Scott the Mac have had since people started KPMGing them on the Golf Course, will Rhys be able to stay with the pack when the ‘pour the beer down the urinal’ play is taken away from him?
Don’t count him out. He has a long history at the Gabba, few will ever forget the last Ashes performance when TGO, FUC and the delightful ‘Viney’ put on a show for the ages. He can drink all day and can also turn it on for the sprints. A definite force in the green jersey and considering recent events for some of the pretenders must now figure in the yellow jersey race.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Team LoveTrain
The Defending Champions and the biggest team ever to hit the Gabba-Stack-a-Thon, Team LoveTrain is lean and mean and ready to take charge. With both the Favorite in the Yellow Jersey and the Green Jersey, Team LoveTrain will be very hard to beat.
KlossDog (Jim Lovell)(Capt) – 
The older statesman of Team LoveTrain the Almighty K diggity has done it all, most things he has done twice, but some are questioning whether the old dog is past his best. Time and time again the analysts have questioned the Kloss’s form and time and time again he surpasses expectations, everyone has very fond memories of last year’s competition when this ‘Old Dog’ surprised onlookers to lead his team out for a magnanimous victory.
Questions loom over this years preparation, after many months of clear spirits and red bulls people were questioning if he had all ready retired and was ready to start fathering children, but a few months ago a revolution occurred, he tasted a beer and realised that he didn’t hate it, since then a light has been on in the old dogs eye, like the light of life has been flicked back on. Since then his performances have been stellar, he was a new man at NFC Straddie and many big afternoons at the tote had many tongues wagging.
After this stunning return to life many began penciling KlossDog into their longer term doubles, and he ultimately firmed to outright green jersey favoritism. However in recent weeks things appear to have turned against the old man. First he went on some cultist like training camp with the renowned killer of super sportsmen Tracy Menzies, and since then he has struggled. On Cup day he looked solid but there was a frailty that few saw, he was off his food and the heat found him out. Since then he has been off the training paddock with colic, his performance at the Mirtna Golf day was below par (on the drinks and on the course) with many stunned when he tapped out from the pub before the sun was fully set. Finally on his final big hit out, Damon’s Bris, he was seen getting on the Diet Cokes long before other contenders TGO and the Ayatollah. Another problem for the K dog is the recent development of ‘SMS a Yob’ – can he control his own anger enough to not upset his fellow ashes supporters? And will this be too tempting an out for K Dog- will he SMS his own name to the federali’s as away of tapping out?
Some pundits are suggesting the K Dog is already a memory, just some Hall of Fame member who will be paraded out on day one to bring in the crowds but who won’t be pushed to try and save his stud value. Others are worried that he may not pass a drug test after his visit to the dance clubs this coming Saturday (not an ideal preparation). Include him in your trifecta if you want an nostalgic bet, but don’t expect too much from this PAST champion.
Bill-a-Tron (William Lovell) –
Following on from last years stunning display at both the ICC Super Stack-A-Thon and the one day sprint that was Gabba Stack-A-Thon 2005, The Great One’s (TGO) handlers immediately plotted a course for the big showdown, Gabba Stack-A-Thon 2006. They new it would be his final hit out before taking on his new role as shuttle stallion, traveling the world on a search for the ultimate brood mare. After a strong early start to the year he showed he had early form with a strong performance on Australia day, he maintained this strong form all year with countless hit outs at Harpoon Harries, New Ballymore, The Pit, Klub299, and the Shangri-La, one particularly memorable occasion wowing QLD Red Stalwarts John Roe and Andrew Brown with his ability to not only stay, but also play golf at the same time.
As the spring began to hit out he showed his true might with strong performances at NFC Straddie and Brunswick and in recent times has been claiming to be at the top of his form. His preparation came to a close this last week with a Last Man Standing performance at the Melbourne Cup and an Only Man on the Spirits performance at the Mirtna Golf Day. All he needs to do now is keep it ticking over this weekend and he will enter the big dance as a short priced favorite.
TGO has form at this distance, this track, and in the conditions. A Definite Favorite.
The older statesman of Team LoveTrain the Almighty K diggity has done it all, most things he has done twice, but some are questioning whether the old dog is past his best. Time and time again the analysts have questioned the Kloss’s form and time and time again he surpasses expectations, everyone has very fond memories of last year’s competition when this ‘Old Dog’ surprised onlookers to lead his team out for a magnanimous victory.
Questions loom over this years preparation, after many months of clear spirits and red bulls people were questioning if he had all ready retired and was ready to start fathering children, but a few months ago a revolution occurred, he tasted a beer and realised that he didn’t hate it, since then a light has been on in the old dogs eye, like the light of life has been flicked back on. Since then his performances have been stellar, he was a new man at NFC Straddie and many big afternoons at the tote had many tongues wagging.
After this stunning return to life many began penciling KlossDog into their longer term doubles, and he ultimately firmed to outright green jersey favoritism. However in recent weeks things appear to have turned against the old man. First he went on some cultist like training camp with the renowned killer of super sportsmen Tracy Menzies, and since then he has struggled. On Cup day he looked solid but there was a frailty that few saw, he was off his food and the heat found him out. Since then he has been off the training paddock with colic, his performance at the Mirtna Golf day was below par (on the drinks and on the course) with many stunned when he tapped out from the pub before the sun was fully set. Finally on his final big hit out, Damon’s Bris, he was seen getting on the Diet Cokes long before other contenders TGO and the Ayatollah. Another problem for the K dog is the recent development of ‘SMS a Yob’ – can he control his own anger enough to not upset his fellow ashes supporters? And will this be too tempting an out for K Dog- will he SMS his own name to the federali’s as away of tapping out?
Some pundits are suggesting the K Dog is already a memory, just some Hall of Fame member who will be paraded out on day one to bring in the crowds but who won’t be pushed to try and save his stud value. Others are worried that he may not pass a drug test after his visit to the dance clubs this coming Saturday (not an ideal preparation). Include him in your trifecta if you want an nostalgic bet, but don’t expect too much from this PAST champion.
Bill-a-Tron (William Lovell) –
Following on from last years stunning display at both the ICC Super Stack-A-Thon and the one day sprint that was Gabba Stack-A-Thon 2005, The Great One’s (TGO) handlers immediately plotted a course for the big showdown, Gabba Stack-A-Thon 2006. They new it would be his final hit out before taking on his new role as shuttle stallion, traveling the world on a search for the ultimate brood mare. After a strong early start to the year he showed he had early form with a strong performance on Australia day, he maintained this strong form all year with countless hit outs at Harpoon Harries, New Ballymore, The Pit, Klub299, and the Shangri-La, one particularly memorable occasion wowing QLD Red Stalwarts John Roe and Andrew Brown with his ability to not only stay, but also play golf at the same time.
As the spring began to hit out he showed his true might with strong performances at NFC Straddie and Brunswick and in recent times has been claiming to be at the top of his form. His preparation came to a close this last week with a Last Man Standing performance at the Melbourne Cup and an Only Man on the Spirits performance at the Mirtna Golf Day. All he needs to do now is keep it ticking over this weekend and he will enter the big dance as a short priced favorite.
TGO has form at this distance, this track, and in the conditions. A Definite Favorite.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Welcome
Welcome one and all to the Gabba-Stack-a-Thon Diaries. With just over a week to go to the start of the Prologue session, teams and competitors are all into their final preparations for the 2006 competition.
Over the next week we will introduce you to all of the competitors on a team by team basis, giving you a brief history of their past exploits and a review of their current form. As the prologue nears the Tote will open up and all form analysts will be able to place their ‘bets’ (comments section, no actual money will change hands) on who they think is the one to beat. In the lead up next week different ‘Celebrity’ analysts will give you their thoughts on current form and the final MPM reports will be posted on the final lead up events this weekend.
During the Competition, there will be posts left at the end of each session with a complete and up-to-date tally of current standings as well as the competitor’s unique brand of commentary reviewing the progress in the Test Match.
So all who are interested (and those who aren’t), please set your faces to excite and your RSS feeds to update quickly and strap yourself in for an awesome week and a half of pointless competition and unabated self promotion
Over the next week we will introduce you to all of the competitors on a team by team basis, giving you a brief history of their past exploits and a review of their current form. As the prologue nears the Tote will open up and all form analysts will be able to place their ‘bets’ (comments section, no actual money will change hands) on who they think is the one to beat. In the lead up next week different ‘Celebrity’ analysts will give you their thoughts on current form and the final MPM reports will be posted on the final lead up events this weekend.
During the Competition, there will be posts left at the end of each session with a complete and up-to-date tally of current standings as well as the competitor’s unique brand of commentary reviewing the progress in the Test Match.
So all who are interested (and those who aren’t), please set your faces to excite and your RSS feeds to update quickly and strap yourself in for an awesome week and a half of pointless competition and unabated self promotion
A Brief History
The Gabba-Stack-a-Thon is essentially a convenient way to combine the joys of watching cricket, drinking copious amounts of beer and competing with ones fellow man for no particular reason.
The competition in its current form has developed over a number of years and has seen many people pull on the honoured ‘wife beater’ and have a go at the title. Dating back to the early to mid ‘90s when Rupert McCall was renowned for his poetry and not his corporate speaking tour and appearances on “The Great South East”, the Gabba-Stack-a-Thon has now become the premier drinking event of the Spring.
Starting the preparation months in advance, competitors nominate for the event by purchasing tickets, the moment they go on sale, for the First Test of an Australian Summer. The competitors then declare who the other member of their team is (teams are made up of 2 competitors) or are allocated teams if they have no pre-defined team.
Training is then purely in the hands of the competitor, or their handlers in the case of bigger teams and it becomes a major part of their focus for the next five months with several lead up events like NFC Straddie, Brunswick Birthday Bash and the less popular Armidale Road Trip. Teams put their competitors through vigorous regimes to try and help them deal with the harsh summer heat and the relentless pace as to which the competition is run. As the training and preparation progresses throughout the year the other part of the training raises its ugly head, The Mind Game.
Sent to the other competitors through the Mass Print Media (MPM) or just as plain old SPAM, teams have been known to stoop to unthinkable levels of SASS to throw the other competitors off their game and to boost the notoriety of their own team and their individual stars. Sparking email wars between the teams the SASS becomes a great indicator as to the ability of each competitor to last the distance and more specifically their mental toughness. The MPM also keeps the gambling public up to date on the progress of each competitor through the lead up events and gives comprehensive analysis of the form all the way up to the Prologue Session, held the night before the first ball is bowled.
From very humble beginnings the Gabba-Stack-a-Thon has developed from year to year to the more notable competitions of recent years like “Viney in Bay 19”, the highly successful break off competition of 2005 the “ICC World 11 Vs Australia-Stack-a-Thon” and the controversial “Tap Out of 2005” where several competitors couldn’t handle the intense heat of a Queensland Summer. With numerous more competitions in coming years (including the much anticipated Viva Le RWC World Cup-Stack-a-Thon in Europe 2007) the competition for 2006 looks to be one of the closest and most hotly contested ever.
The competition in its current form has developed over a number of years and has seen many people pull on the honoured ‘wife beater’ and have a go at the title. Dating back to the early to mid ‘90s when Rupert McCall was renowned for his poetry and not his corporate speaking tour and appearances on “The Great South East”, the Gabba-Stack-a-Thon has now become the premier drinking event of the Spring.
Starting the preparation months in advance, competitors nominate for the event by purchasing tickets, the moment they go on sale, for the First Test of an Australian Summer. The competitors then declare who the other member of their team is (teams are made up of 2 competitors) or are allocated teams if they have no pre-defined team.
Training is then purely in the hands of the competitor, or their handlers in the case of bigger teams and it becomes a major part of their focus for the next five months with several lead up events like NFC Straddie, Brunswick Birthday Bash and the less popular Armidale Road Trip. Teams put their competitors through vigorous regimes to try and help them deal with the harsh summer heat and the relentless pace as to which the competition is run. As the training and preparation progresses throughout the year the other part of the training raises its ugly head, The Mind Game.
Sent to the other competitors through the Mass Print Media (MPM) or just as plain old SPAM, teams have been known to stoop to unthinkable levels of SASS to throw the other competitors off their game and to boost the notoriety of their own team and their individual stars. Sparking email wars between the teams the SASS becomes a great indicator as to the ability of each competitor to last the distance and more specifically their mental toughness. The MPM also keeps the gambling public up to date on the progress of each competitor through the lead up events and gives comprehensive analysis of the form all the way up to the Prologue Session, held the night before the first ball is bowled.
From very humble beginnings the Gabba-Stack-a-Thon has developed from year to year to the more notable competitions of recent years like “Viney in Bay 19”, the highly successful break off competition of 2005 the “ICC World 11 Vs Australia-Stack-a-Thon” and the controversial “Tap Out of 2005” where several competitors couldn’t handle the intense heat of a Queensland Summer. With numerous more competitions in coming years (including the much anticipated Viva Le RWC World Cup-Stack-a-Thon in Europe 2007) the competition for 2006 looks to be one of the closest and most hotly contested ever.
The Rules
The competition for 2006 will be held at the Brisbane Cricket Ground (The Gabba) starting on the 23rd of November and ending at Stumps on the Third day of the First Ashes Test of the summer.
The Basics
- Every cup of beer consumed from the entry to the ground to the end of play is added to the players total
- The beer must be entirely consumed and logged (No competitor is allowed to pour beer down the urinal, or dispense it in any other way)
- Any knocked over beer does not add to the total, subject to appeals to the Committee
- Each competitor must wear officially sanctioned uniform on all three days
The Additional Rules
- Each team must have two nominated members present at the start of each mornings play (Penalty for non-compliance 2 Cups)
- Side Rule- due to their Wet Behind The Ears status Team OutsideChance has been given special dispensation by the Rules Committee to include Pinch Hitters and Substitutes into their team so they can compete (Penalty - 1 Cup per Sub per day)
- Each Team must have two nominated members in the Sauna each night (Penalty for non-compliance 2 Cups)
- Each Team must have two nominated members make an appearance at the post game function each night (Penalty for non-compliance 2 Cups)
The Jerseys
There are three competitions, the Team Event, the Individual Event and the Individual Sprint.
- The Team Championship is awarded to the team that consumes the most Cups during the first three days of the Test Match (less penalties)
- The Yellow Jersey is awarded to the person that consumes the most Cups during the first three days of the Test Match (less penalties)
- The Yellow Jersey will be awarded at the beginning of each session
- The Green Jersey is awarded to the person that consumes the most Alcoholic Drinks during the allocated sprint sessions (less penalties)
- Points will be awarded for the most number of Alcoholic Drinks consumed in the hour after lunch, the hour after tea, and the hour between 7 and 8pm. Points are awarded, on a 6, 4, 2 basis (1st, 2nd and 3rd) and are cumulative over the three days, with the final sprint being moved forward to the second hour after tea on day three (this way both jersey’s can be awarded at the close of play that day)
- The Green Jersey will be awarded at the beginning of each session
Other Information
- The Prologue will be held at the Pig and Whistle Riverside 6 pm November the 22nd, which is also for Registration (each competitor must have at least two drinks the night before)
- All competitors must be lodged in the event lodgings for the duration of the competition. The Event lodgings being The Shangrila, Level 7, 461 Adelaide Street, Brisbane. Penalty for non-compliance 2 Cups
Glossary
The Gabba – Is the spectacular Brisbane Cricket Ground found amazingly in Brisbane, Australia, home of the Mighty Queensland Bulls and site of the First test of any Australian summer. Over the years (opened in 1895 as I found out) it has seen many highlights of the game of cricket including Dean Jones setting a new Australian One Day Highest Score (at the time) of 145, Smiling SK Warne bowling for figures of 7/85 against Pakistan, Glenn McGrath bundling out the West Indies for under 150 in the year 2000 including Lara for a Duck and it was also the site of the first ever Tied Test in 1960. The name is derived from the location of the cricket ground, just outside the Brisbane CBD the Gabba is located in the suburb of Woolloongabba (which is an Aboriginal word but I am finding conflicting stories as to its meaning)
The Gabba Stack – Born of the last days of the mighty Gabba Hill, when the ‘tinnie’ (a can of beer) was phased out and replaced by the Plastic Cup, patrons found that as they finished a cup of beer and picked up another it could be ‘stacked’ inside the empty cup. There has been some cheap knock offs appearing since, some from AFL fans others from sporting grounds around the world, however true historians always pay credit where credit is due and thus it is called a Gabba Stack. There has been some conjecture as to the need to stack ones plastic cups together, research has been done on the insulation pluses of the stack i.e. keeping beer cooler the more cups in a stack. Also significant testing has been done on the higher the stack the less distance there is between hand and mouth, but ultimately there is nothing of any validity, The Gabba Stack is ultimately a good place to put your empties and just a bit of fun.
Wife Beater – the traditional uniform of competitors in the Gabba-Stack-a-Thon. A Dark Blue singlet, snugly (but not tight) fitted and the more faded the better. In different circles it is referred to as a ‘Jackie Howe’ or a ‘Truckies Singlet’. Generally made by Bonds
Beer – an alcoholic beverage made from water, yeast, hops and barley. Served cold. Makes a man into a hero and a woman into the one he wants to marry.
A Glassing – see http://needstobeglassed.blogspot.com
Cricket – a game played with bats and balls and two teams of eleven. One side will ‘bat’ and one side will ‘bowl’………oh who am I fucking kidding, if you don’t know what cricket is and you are reading this site then you are in the wrong place, please go back to surfing the interweb.
I am sick of creating a Glossary so for any more words you find in this Blog that you don’t understand I refer you to www.wikipedia.org. (any nicknames we use in the commentary will hopefully be self explanatory, otherwise you can check out, www.abc.gov.au/cricket/ and then draw conclusions between what we have said and what Jimmy Maxwell has said, come on use your brains people)
The Gabba Stack – Born of the last days of the mighty Gabba Hill, when the ‘tinnie’ (a can of beer) was phased out and replaced by the Plastic Cup, patrons found that as they finished a cup of beer and picked up another it could be ‘stacked’ inside the empty cup. There has been some cheap knock offs appearing since, some from AFL fans others from sporting grounds around the world, however true historians always pay credit where credit is due and thus it is called a Gabba Stack. There has been some conjecture as to the need to stack ones plastic cups together, research has been done on the insulation pluses of the stack i.e. keeping beer cooler the more cups in a stack. Also significant testing has been done on the higher the stack the less distance there is between hand and mouth, but ultimately there is nothing of any validity, The Gabba Stack is ultimately a good place to put your empties and just a bit of fun.
Wife Beater – the traditional uniform of competitors in the Gabba-Stack-a-Thon. A Dark Blue singlet, snugly (but not tight) fitted and the more faded the better. In different circles it is referred to as a ‘Jackie Howe’ or a ‘Truckies Singlet’. Generally made by Bonds
Beer – an alcoholic beverage made from water, yeast, hops and barley. Served cold. Makes a man into a hero and a woman into the one he wants to marry.
A Glassing – see http://needstobeglassed.blogspot.com
Cricket – a game played with bats and balls and two teams of eleven. One side will ‘bat’ and one side will ‘bowl’………oh who am I fucking kidding, if you don’t know what cricket is and you are reading this site then you are in the wrong place, please go back to surfing the interweb.
I am sick of creating a Glossary so for any more words you find in this Blog that you don’t understand I refer you to www.wikipedia.org. (any nicknames we use in the commentary will hopefully be self explanatory, otherwise you can check out, www.abc.gov.au/cricket/ and then draw conclusions between what we have said and what Jimmy Maxwell has said, come on use your brains people)
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